My wife has a good voice and a good ear for music and she wants to join the church choir and of course she should. The problem is that she will not join the choir unless I join as well, even though she knows I cannot sing a lick (unless I am jointly singing “American Pie” at some wedding).
Joining the church choir is difficult for me since I cannot even read music and my voice is different everyday. If I try to look at the notes in the song book I often lose the words as well. Even when I am in the pews they are often already on the third stanza by the time I get the hymnal open to the right page and get my reading glasses on. (I don’t even have a decent pair of reading glasses because the $5 pair I got from Wal-Mart’s years ago is now too weak and the price for a new pair went up to $20! As thrifty as I am I do not want to pay twenty bucks for a pair of $5 reading glasses!)
Some days in church I can hardly hear myself sing but maybe that is because I am half deaf. Maybe I should take the hearing aids the VA issued out of the drawer but I don’t know what use they would be in my ears since I cannot hear as good with them on. I used to have a hearing aid that almost worked until it stopped working. That’s when the VA told me they now have more advanced hearing aids and I needed hearing aids for both ears. Problem is, I never could hear anything with the new hearing aids they gave me and the batteries die after a few hours. So you might as well put corks in your ears (that’s probably not a bad idea in some cases, and now you know why some people like hearing aids)
When I am singing I often wonder what the person in front me is really hearing coming out of my mouth. I never can reach those high notes, so often in the middle of the song I have to drop down to a lower key (if that is what they call it). I don’t know if you are supposed to do that but what other alternative does a person have if they do not have the vocal range required in the song?
I guess I could just sing the base notes if I could follow them (they usually are not near the words). Anyway, I tried that and I always run out of air trying to get enough wind across my vocal cords to make enough sound to be heard in that lower frequency. People who sing base must have huge lungs or amplified vocal cords. I read where some professional singers now have sound systems that modifies their pitch when they get off key before it even comes out of the speakers. Maybe everyone in the choir could sing into that system. I guess that two hundred thousand dollar church sound system will have to be replaced with a two million dollar system. But, if we are singing to the Lord I guess the music committee board could make a strong case for the expense.
I am pretty sure that we will start working on a Christmas cantata soon. I found practicing for cantatas are about as much fun as hunting for snipes on a rainy night in Georgia. I always expect to hear the choir director to tell me to just move my lips and not sing. The choir directors always think you can read music and actually figure out how to get back to the start of the next stanza. 😉 Singing the wrong words is pretty hard to fake. Someone needs to write a book called “Choir for Dummies”. I think to join the choir you should have to pass a course called Choir 101. That would leave me out.
Heck, half the time I cannot even spell the word choir and no wonder everything about music is so confusing. Music is really a different language. I tried learning Spanish a couple of times in my spare minutes and I still haven’t a clue what anyone is chattering about. Mexicans speak so fast their words get past your brain before your ears hear them. I guess with their large families they have to say everything they know as fast as they can without ever taking a breath, because as soon as they take the breath they lost their turn in line. But I digress, learning music at choir practice is much like trying to learn German by singing German beer garden songs.
I know I am going to be forced to join the choir, it has happened before. There really is no free will here! I really see no way out unless I can fake laryngitis for the duration.
I do have some food for thought though. Everyone in church should just join the choir and then the pastor could preach to the choir from the back of the church. It is logical because then they could just decide to switch sides and the choir problem will be solved and the pastor could literally preach to the choir. Think about it. 
I am one of those that has a good music ear but I do not believe I can sing either. I am a musician and I do play drums and percussion instruments. If your church has a band u could play the djembe like I do. This is what it looks like. http://www.one-world-is-enough.net/acatalog/profdjembe.JPG I think it is easier to play the djembe than singing.
Nah, That would take skill I do not have. We have a small worship team with a few instruments but we also have a choir.
Don, I could not carry a tune in a bucket even if it had a lid on it. Like my mom use to tell us is it says in the Bible to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, it does not say that you have a voice like a song bird. That is why God made song birds. When I sing I sing as loud as I can I don’t really care what the people around me hear, it is what the Lord hears is what really counts. Think about this when the Jewish Priests burned the sacrifice to us we would have smelled the burning hair and flesh of the animal. If you have ever had the opportunity to smell that it really stinks. But God has said in His word that the smoke rising from the alter was a sweet smell to Him. So I really don’t think God cares if your voice is not a soothing sound to anyone else. All praise, honor and glory belong to God.
I have a hard time singing now, because the emphysema has destroyed about 75% of my lungs. I get winded just getting out of bed of a morning and I have an O2 generator on set a 2.5 liters a minute. So be glad, and rejoice in it, that you have the breath to pound out a tune.
I am not worried about offending the ears of God but a choir is supposed to sound good otherwise why even have one sitting in the front of the church?
Not that I think churches need to have choirs. I prefer trained worship teams and leaders myself in leading the congregation in song but I also think each local church has freedom in the way they conduct their own worship service.
I remember one alto voice on a choir that I was on that drowned everyone else out. That person obviously was a hog calling champion. 🙂
My father used to sing in the bathroom and my mother put me into singing classes from 6th grade up to high school. So I participated in many choir presentations. It is beautiful to sing. Lately I have abandoned my participations in the musical band of the church because of my multiple tasks, including raising up my 3 kids (7, 5 and 2). They sure can scream a lot.
Yesterday, I was sleeping my 2 yr old and he said to me: Papa, sing, sing. So I sang a cradle song and then Twinkle Twinkle. Now, this guy thought I was a karaoke or a musical box, because he kept asking me for more songs. There went Humpy-Dumpy. Until I went blank. No more songs for Claudio.
The lullabies are present in all cultures. All mothers sing to their babies. Whether they can sing or not, the mumble soft tones and songs. That is beautiful. My father says it is a blessing from God to have music and songs because they comfort people’s hearts, even for the non believers. Music gets very deep in our emotions sometimes. I hope we are using that to worship the Lord. There are too many sensual and stupid songs in the world. I have to fight to have a good mind and sing only songs that praise my Lord.
Keep on singing Don!