President Donald Trump announced his plan today to create one million new jobs, and reduce energy dependence at the same time. Trump says he plans to build 5,000 mini nuclear casinos all over America. He said that every American should have a casino within walking distance because easy access to casinos should be a basic human right.
Trump said the mini nuclear reactors will be buried below ground and the casinos would be built on the land above them. This plan is in keeping with his 2012 campaign promise to “Electrify America”. Energy Czar Bill Gates said that all money his company makes off of selling these mini nuclear reactors will be donated to Tony Blair’s “Interfaith Foundation”.
Gates also said that each mini casino will have free super high-speed internet service so that people in the casinos could game, and play games at the same time. President Trump said the money for building this huge infrastructure project will come from China because he has made it clear to the Chinese that this is the only way in hell that they will ever collect the money that we owe them. The American Indian nation later said they will scalp Donald Trump and hold what they find for ransom.
Homeland Security chief and kick boxing champion Chuck Norris said today that the Mexican border will be officially closed to unauthorized entry as soon as he finishes kicking out all the bureaucrats that have been standing in the way. He said after he is done, no one will not get across the border without a Trump card.
Defense Secretary Sarah Barracuda Palin made a surprise visit to American troops fighting in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Libya, Sudan, Iran, Venezuela, Mexico, Lansing Michigan, and Washington D.C. last week. Palin said the time has come to have a draft, and no, she was not talking about beer.
U.N. Secretary General Hillary Clinton said the U.N. will pass a resolution that will give Israel the right to exist if Israel agrees to give up all land in the Middle East. U.S. Secretary of State Glenn Beck said that he thinks the Mormons have convinced Israel to move to Utah. Beck said, what probably will clinch the deal, is allowing Israel to build the third Temple in Independence Missouri.
Pastor Rick Warren shocked his congregation today when he announced that he was taking a position at the Vatican as chief adviser to Pope Peter II. The Pope said this will do more to unite Christianity than anything since the inquisitions. Warren said the Church needed a united front to stop the damage to the global world order coming from Christian fundamentalism.
Former disgraced U.S President Barack Obama and President of Kenya said, “April fool America”. I was really born right here, ha ha.
And in a bigger news story…
Don “Don’t Call Me Chekov” Koenig now permanently resides in one of those nuclear mini casino’s so he could finally have high speed internet instead of a dial up connection : )
Yeah, just deal
Now this is news we can use!!!! 🙂
I Just Deleted a ‘Ho-Bunch-a’ of My Frustration–
But ‘I’m-a Gonna’ Go Back to My First Thought, Idea
Into;
“WHO THINKS UP THESE THINGS, SCHEMES, Hollywood Tabloid” Stuff?
We Now Really Seem to Be Picking Up Some Momentum, Like a COAL TRAIN, Comin Down the Mountain With Every Joint in the Track Clickin’ PURDY Doggone Fast & Gettin Faster, Closer Together. Do Trains Have ‘BIRTH PANGS?’ I Think So– Pant, Pant, Faster Faster– & In the Midst of That TURMOIL, Some Country, Officially With or Without Nuclear Capability, Quietly Moves Closer to our Eastern Shore(More Populated), Opens Up Some Simple But Practical Doors on Their Innocent Small Ship,on 4th of July Evening; Then Takes a Portable, Battery Power Pack Jump-Starter & Just Touches the Two Welder Clamp Type Ends- To——–the Red Screw & The Black Screw on the Brain Box on a Nuclear Tipped Missile made in North Korea(That’s Why It Needs a JumpStart) & I’ve Never Been Up Close to One But I Think I Can Imagine The Thing Taking Off & Exploding Somewhere High in the Sky Over The Good Ol’ USA & ‘NO LIGHTS, POWER, TV or INTERNET! — & NO MORE NEWS!!
I ‘KNOW’ That I Don’t PRAY ANYWHERES NEAR ENOUGH, Or Like Most, Hardly at All. Oh, I Think About Prayin, A Lot, But With Such Easy ACCESS to OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, That He’s Given Us, as a GIFT, Amongst Other GIFTS; We Have ACCESS to OUR CREATOR Anytime We, With Some REVERENCE, Just Close Our Eyes & Talk to Our FATHER,a GOD the LISTENS! In Jesus’ Name, A-Men.
A major news network has interviewed Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
In the interview, Obama said he thinks he’s the Mahdi, 12th Imam…and further said, he plans to continue to destroy the United States Of American as he’s done thus far.
Oh, sorry…these were supposed to be jokes !
My bad.
I wish you were not joking. A business man like Donald Trump could fix a lot of the mess in this country.
LOL!!! But only for a minute. All this absurdity is too close to reality.
PAPADOO,
If it helps…personally, I keep a pillow on the floor next to my bed as a constant reminder to pray to our Heavenly Lord Jesus…and, I don’t know if any of us can pray enough.
AMEN to that David. I’ve said before that we should have calluses on our knees.
APRIL 2, 2011- Like I Tell My 88yr old Born-Again MOTHER(GENUINE DEAL)By the Blood, Sin Debt Paid By Jesus, Supreme Sacrifice On the Cross Given to Us Through the MERCY CLAUSE; Not SANTA CLAWS—
People, Christians are FREAKING OUT on LIBYA, Egypt, etc. All This
‘MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD ACTION,’ Takeover
Whilst
President Obama & Gates Are FINALLY Motivating the EU & The Rest of the WORLD to Get Off Their ‘Let the Americans, Brits, Canadien, Aussies & New Zealanders’ Do Their ‘War-Fightin-Survival Work’For Them, Because WHY?? Because We Do it Better & They Don’t Have to Spill Any of Their OWN BLOOD!’
Our 38yr old Son, a 20yr Man, 15mos in Downtown Baghdad Iraq, Bronze Star Soldier Still Says– “It’s Really Hard to Go In to Help These People Get a Better Way of Life When They Won’t Even Pick Up Their Own GARBAGE (not Talking About Bombed Out Areas, Thanks USA) & Go Fight? Forget It! Their Not That Stupid!”
Most of Them are Not Motivated Like Americans & Don’t Even Want Things Nice, Much Less Have the Ambition to Do Something About It.
They Just Don’t Care Enough; Unless We Give it To ‘Em, Then They Care. uh-huh!
It Used to Be a SMALL PRICE & The STAKES Weren’t So Big When America Used to Come into a COUNTRY, Make Some Roads, Build Some Schools & Hospitals & Bring in Reliable POWER in EXCHANGE for ALL THEIR ‘OIL!’ Other Resources.
America Used to Bring Reliable Power(heh-heh) Guns & Tanks & Stuff– Now We Don’t Do That & All the Other Countries in the World That Had Nothing, But Oil, Now Have the Great Equalizer; & It’s Not GOD!
It’s The GREAT EQUALIZER, The ATOMIC BOMB!
Now, We Can’t Get By So Easy, Exploiting These Countries & Their Oil Resources for Pittance.
TABLES are NOW TURNED More to An ‘EQUAL ADVANTAGE.’
Oh Yeah! Obama & Gates are Getting the EU ‘OFF THEIR NO-DO DUFFS’ & Motivating Them to Stand Up for Themselves, Like We Can Afford-it; So They’ll Have To Get In There & Fight
&
At the Same Time Obama & Gates(Robert,not Bill) are ‘UNWITTINGLY’ Doin God’s Work By Helping Align The King of the North(The Beast) Against the King of the South for the ‘Gog Magog War.’
I Always Wonder;How Can This HUGE MOMENTUM CHANGE,(like in Football), Be So OVER-WHELMING & On Such a DIRECTED PATH That Nothing Seems to Affect It.
All The Seemingly-Crazy Stuff That’s Happening,Stuff that Bothers the World & Christians Alike, & Is Making Some of These Pastors Rich or Millionaires by Exploiting the Fear of the Last Days Prophecies. To Be a ‘WARN-ER’ is to Count Lots of Money– Though the Message Has to Get Out Somehow–
Is OBAMA a MUSLIM, Practicing or Non-Practicing, or is OBAMA the SCAPEGOAT for What We Should Be Doing as BELIEVERS to Spread the GOSPEL to a HURTING WORLD!
Hitler Blamed the Jews! We Used to Blame Blacks, But Now We Blame the Muslim People. Do We Ran-Sack Their Businesses & Deport Them to Concentration Camps or Japanese Determent Camps?
We are Not Lily- White as Snow–
‘We’re in a Spot That I Wouldn’t Wish on a Leopard!’
The Availability of the ATOMIC BOMB to ‘EVERYMANS Small COUNTRY’ Changes this WHOLE AMERICAN ARROGANCE of We Do Whatever We Want With No Repercussions!
Am I a ‘PEACENIK?’ Hardly, But You Can See How Hitlers Final Solution Could Seem Like a SUPER PROBLEM SOLVER!
Like Don Says & I Agree; This Will Probably Not Be;’Rapture Take Me Outta Here So I Miss All This Stuff’ Though It Could Be–
But It’s More Like We Don’t Know the Time or Date, Only Our Father in Heaven Knows, & Just Like Some People before WWI & WWII Thought; ‘Well, This is IT, We’re Going Up;’ All the Time There was a War to Be Fought, a Bomb to Be Made,Blood Shed & Soldiers Not Coming Home!’
But Today, Without THE DRAFT, It’s Only the POOR PEOPLE & Hispanic Refugees That are Willing to Work, Raise Their Families Under The God of The Bible & Become US CITIZENS By Enlisting in the ARMED FORCES.
That Really Doesn’t Say Much About the REST of Us; 3rd or 4th Generation Born in America to Immigrant Parents!
God Bless America & Pray for President Obama to Get Saved, So’s Not to Hide Behind RELIGIOSITY Like the Rest of Them!
I Really Don’t Believe These Church-Goers are Anymore Saved Than Obama, If There is Such a Thing as ‘SAVED SOMEWHAT!”
If People Can actually Say; “I Got Saved”- Actually Say It Out Loud – They Might Have Something Besides My Parents Brought Me To Church & I Gave My Heart— Hey WAIT A MINUTE- “Gave My Heart?”
Don Koenig For President…2012 !!!
PAPADOO
I see you put yourself on a soap box and are carrying a very broad brush. That will be allowed this time on this April fools post but comments generally need to be related to the post topic.
By the way, every poor nation is not going to get a nuclear bomb. Nor does a nuclear device make a nation a military threat to the U.S. We have conventional weapons that can do as much damage as these crude fission bombs, even if they had them.
After trying to use these crude weapons what do they do for an encore when their whole nation lies in rubble? The U.S. Russia, China and Israel are now developing weapons that will make atomic bombs and missiles a liability for nations threatening to use them and that is no April fools joke.
Now that is a joke, Ambassador David.
“Beck said, what probably will clinch the deal, is allowing Israel to build the third Temple in Independence Missouri.”
Don, you may very well have killed me with this one. I’m laughing so hard I can hardly breathe.
Looks like Joseph Smith was a true prophet after all. It’s just that “in this generation” is a statement which, as a Mormon apologetics website I came across claims (and I have to say, I was blown away by the brilliance and persuasiveness of their logic), “can mean several years, or even centuries.” This is truly inspiring. After all, if we adopt this sort of argument, there’s no limit to what we can make the Bible say! But then, I guess the Mormons already beat us to it. Oh well.
Glad to be of service. Aprils Fools Day is rapidly becoming the norm.
BREAKING NEWS !!!
The unrest in the middle east and especially Libya has been exposed as to why it happened.
The Libyans (and the middle east) are still very angry because Dr. Emmitt Brown received a cache of Plutonium from the Libyans in exchange for Dr. Brown building them a bomb…but Dr. Brown gave them a dud bomb filled with pinball machine parts instead.
Don’t you all remember…?
Run for it Marty, it’s the Libyans !!!
Think McFly, think : )
On a non-joke side (well, the whole environment, as you state, is becoming a joke), but following with the theme of Obama being in Kenya, is the “news” that the Muslim butchers are burning an effigy of Obama. Which gets me thinking – who does Obama appeal to? It seems he’s pretty much worthless and useless to everyone/anyone EXCEPT the Marxists (DEMs, Soros, Globalists, Romanesque’s et al by any other name).
Craig,
I’m just guessing here…but I’m guessing that Obama really appeals to Satan and finds Obama quite useful. And that’s no joke either.
It’s sort of the same old story. I guess Obama learned nothing from those school yard bully days. Obama thought he could win over people hostile to America by trying to appease hostile people that cannot be appeased. He started his Presidency as one of the most popular people in the world and now he turned our allies against us and lost the bullies as well. That is why he no longer is in the running for Secretary General of the U.N.
All I Can Say Is: “Nah-Nah-Nah-Ni-Na Na- Olly, Olly Northaxen Free!
Laughable.
When I used to listen to Rush I recall him saying “next thing ya know…..” and then he would say something seemingly ‘way out there’ (like in the April’s fool post) and sure enough months later it would happen and then he’d say “with these people in power you can’t even make stuff up anymore…” It seems outrageous – but you just wait. In a few years your post may just turn out to be front page headlines. Yes, the world is getting that crazy!
The one that got me was: “Pastor Rick Warren shocked his congregation today when he announced that he was taking a position at the Vatican as chief adviser to Pope Peter II. The Pope said this will do more to unite Christianity than anything since the inquisitions. Warren said the Church needed a united front to stop the damage to the global world order coming from Christian fundamentalism.”
Now that – I can definitely see happening! The only caveat is: I doubt his spellbound congregation – by Oz, Hyman and Amen – would be shocked….more like they’d cheer with global ecumenical approval.
Ammi wrote above: All this absurdity is too close to reality.
Indeed!
Tim,
I don’t think its appropriate to call him Iamadinnerjacket.
It’s better suited to call him Mahmoud Iamanutjob : )
I’m glad I was alone in the office. This cracked me up – very much out loud!!
According to Jerome Corsi, Don’s joke/statement…
“Former disgraced U.S President Barack Obama and President of Kenya said, “April fool America”. I was really born right here, ha ha.”
…is no joke at all, in reference to the Obama’s birth.
Are you Christians paying your jizya tax ???
I found this article on the Islamic “jizya” tax to be disturbing yet, really comical.
“Are you against blowing up churches?” the newspaper interviewer asked Shehato.
“Yes and no,” he replied. “The Christian is free to worship his God in his church, but if the Christians make problems for the Muslims, I will exterminate them. I am guided by the Shariah, and it stipulates that they must pay the jizya tax while in a state of humiliation.”
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=339305
http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Quran/004-jizya.htm